I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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