umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
