you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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