I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
