Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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