Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
