There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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