Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We're facebook friends in real life
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
