WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
