Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
NoShamevember. You game?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
