No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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