I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
did you just send me my own nude
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
