Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I need moral support for this bender
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
