So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
