I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We just shotgunned beers for America
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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