Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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