They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Congratulations! We have a period
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