I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
