shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Redeem this text for a blowjob
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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