There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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