I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My vagina is very pro this idea
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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