Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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