Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
