dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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