Pappa wants mamma naked
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
