Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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