i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
