so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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