As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
