I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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