MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Couch. On fire.
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