there's paper in my vomit.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
