Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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