Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he's single and there are thong briefs.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize