The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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