She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
