I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
