Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize