what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
