Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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