Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
