i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
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