i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
