...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I take back everything I said about communal showers
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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