how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize