just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
