I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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