I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
