Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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