so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
