VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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