At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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