Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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