It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize