I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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