drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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