here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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