Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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