Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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