i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
