No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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