so explain again why im purple
no
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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