is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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