I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
