in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
