So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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