My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she looked like the before picture.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
