Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
