I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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