if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My ass is underappreciated
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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