i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
