My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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