I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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