Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified

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(805): View more from California

singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful

Fav 14 1369 2091
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(443): View more from Maryland

i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

Fav 32 9288 2094
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(540): View more from Virginia

Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.

Fav 11 1072 4206
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

Fav 12 1372 2775
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(913): View more from Kansas

Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

Fav 10 2616 1049
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(757): View more from Virginia

You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation

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(830): View more from Texas

Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?

(858): View more from California

Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria

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